Pretense

Pretense

As long as there is some kind of preconception of a person behavior or personality, it becomes an exception for a person to act a certain way, in accordance to his outside perception. Any other sort of behavior becomes a pretense in the eyes of those who "know". Is a person so limited to being who they want to be? As college starts, to see people change is a funny thing, but is it actually a negative trait for someone to try and be who they actually want to be? As if a persons personality is engrained in stone.. A person has multiple facets to their being, but it is actually true that a person can't really change who they are on the inside. Fuck that, if I could change to be the person that I wanted to be, I would have done it a long time ago…

Deception&Sincerity

And Alcohol… why is it that alcohol has such a bad image? I mean, I think when I drink, I don't do stupid shit, but I think the stupid people just ruined it for the rest of us. Now when a church going person takes a sip of alcohol (at least in the more conservative areas) they are looked down upon. But isn't that so hypocritical? When a fellow alcohol sees a Christian drink, I don't think as much judgement goes out to that person in comparison to when a Christian sees a fellow Christian drink. Drinking, it's not bad, is it? My friends and I are just chillin'. But that judgement.. Sometimes I'm afraid of that judgement. it's an irrational fear, if I know who I am, and if Jesus knows who I am then I should be able to at according to what I know is okay. But then again, I have to huard the image of a the person everyone wants me to be. Then again… I don't know, i have to think more.

And sometimes, I'm seriously sick of pretending to care about people that I don't care about. And that perception some people think of me as, I want to change it but is that just who I really am? Is that insincere? I'm probably thinking too much, but then again, that's what makes life meaningful, the details.