sounds from your mouth

sounds from your mouth

Something's not right. I've been in a slump for the past 26 days. My mind feels down, uninspired and overall just at a halt. Something feels very wrong. I'm not sure what it is. Things feel forced, like a responsibility or obligation. Things don't feel natural or free. Things feel wronged and really sad. I feel chained down to some sort of construct created by myself and those around me. Chained is good word to describe it. Bitterly chained.

And sound?

Am I just tired or are my ears getting numb?
I am not enjoying listening to music anymore.
It's like everything that I hear (and I hear A LOT of music) is just becoming really repetitive, like a formula. These songs are captured in genres, and therefore become very predictable in their structure, ambiance and overall sound.

This is not enjoyable or satisfying. I feel like I'm suffocating ~

slump again

slump again

I wish it would rain more often. I can't seem to conjure up anything good these days. I feel as if I've been wasting the past week of my life doing nothing. Sure, I've started going to school again and came in my dorm, bringing the mic with me as well. Yet, I just can't seem to start writing again. I don't understand. Days fly by so quickly. It's 11 o clock. Before I know it, it's 3:30. And know 6 o clock will come just as quickly as 11 pm. Then 1-3 go by so fast, I scarcely even notice that they happen. Such is time. And there goes another day, 24 hours or less probably less, wasted doing nothing. They say it takes 10,000 hours for one to become a master at one certain subject. I suppose that is the amount of practice and dedication it takes for one to make a great living off what he enjoys doing. 24 hours seems like so much to me. This standby is draining me, making me feel more and more hopeless about tomorrow and the day after.

Thoughts? Who cares about thoughts. I thought so much, I don't even bother writing them down anymore. Care for thoughts? Read my blog like 2 years ago. Thoughts-a-plenty. These days, this blog has just become a catharsis to complain and complain because I don't exactly have friends I can complain to.

Thoughts? I've thought the world about my existence. I've thought so much about purpose, existence, God, life, absence of God, and human characteristics and emotions I feel like I could be a bad psychiatrist or a half assed philosopher. But I can only go so far without experiencing them firsthand because experience puts for an aspect of time that comes by much slower than the finger snap of retrospect.

Ugh, people, ugh life. Ugh blanket statements that say absolutely to nothing.

I'm a fucking nobody. Few people like me, fewer people want to be with me. By golly, I wonder why. Kidding!


Look it's my conscience:

hot dawgs.

hot dawgs.

dude so k, one day I was at a concert for some really irrelevant sad musicians. they were really really really irrelevant and sad musicians so it wasnt very crowded and I was chillin at the front. the dude next to me was eating this hot dawg that looked like it was from costco because it had the trick sneak ass paper that looks like metal on the outside but is actually just paper on the inside. he was like half way done and the sad musician, obviously poor and not getting paid at all at the venue, suddenly leans down and asks him for a bite. first the poor guy was like, what? and so the music man repeat the question. dude im really hungry i didnt eat dinner, i came straight here after working the early night shift at lakota high (which i presume to be a high school nearby). and so dude was like sure man, here you go, but its kosher. and the guy was like whatever, my girlfriend is jewish. so im standing there like what is going on because the background music is clearly playing and there is clearly supposed to be lyrics but this hungry sad musician is just really hungry. so whats worse, ruining all your chances for a future show because you are really hungry or just continueing to be hungry? i dont know man, i just dont know. so the guy takes the hot dawg from the guy after jumping down and munches a big bite. big juicy bite. he chews like three times but then he just started looking really confused and turned next to him and just started throwing up. so im like, wow this is gross because it smelled like nachos and cool ranch doritoes but what worse was the the security guard was actually right there next to him and got thrown up on. im really appalled because i was just invited because my friend just asked me if i wanted to come because there was nothing to on that boring boring summer night. so to recap this sad musican threw up his lunch which presumable made him more hungry and ruined his show and got this huge fat black man really angry at him as well as his band. the hot dawg was apparently normal because the guy was really confused. then i left and went home. didnt eat hot dawgs for a good month.

t-t-t-t-t-ripppyy am i right