^_^
HA!!!YOU OWE ME!
rock paper scissors!!
to whom it may concern~
"this guy couldn't even admit his last defeatshit don't even sound good before mastering"
SPRING BREAK
drop like a bomb
wheeww..
boooom
rain
A raindrop glistens on the side of the side of the concrete wall, a partisan that defines the containment between its belonging and nature. As if being brought down by the sheer accumulation of its existence, it drearily descends the facade, all the while becoming a tiny looking glass, magnifying the cracks and crevices it occasionally wedges and stalls itself into. The constant footsteps of passersby resonate within the bulb of life; the piercing eyes of the kibitzer cynically looking upon the drop, his derisive voice mocking every inch it crawls down. How far will it crawl before breaking from the pull of its surroundings?
Intervention steps in.
The light of reason splits the red sea of the sky, the looming air clears, and the spotlight of the morning star shift its glance to other wearisome prey as the crucifix descends down from a stairway from heaven. The world looks on, appreciating the stigmata upon life, as if it matters, even as it spirals down its own well of self realization. The gaping chasm of life and death opens its hungry mouth for more, chewing on the wealth of the fallen and devouring upon the suffering of the risen. As the fever of the rising sun becomes to great to ignore, the tired raindrop lets go and evaporates into bliss, letting go of its obligation to the gravity of life and death.
Is God waiting for me, or am I waiting for God?
memories
(everything is written ignoring the ideas Christianity. logic can not fight faith)
To strive and struggle constantly for an idealized life, or to lose sight of that perfection and let the current of fate sweep you off your feet and take you where it leads.
To live for the moment and live life the way it should be lived for the individual and the individual alone, or to live life for future ambitions and the sake of greater life, while gambling away the present.
To work to build the most durable foundation, to build the hollow structure of sophistication and strife, or to be the artist and compose the landscape of pastel on the canvas you stand on and let the world slowly fade into your eyes, to let it blend into the iris of your imagination.
What do you live for?
The limelight of humanity focuses on the most arbitrary aspects of life, because it based upon a system in which individual success is measured in the terms of the bystander. People are inevitably bound to follow a destiny furnished by the public, and so to meet the standards of success they follow a path of conformity, to struggle and die for a fate handed out to them by a never fading, envious dream.
Why are people bound to follow the path that isn't based upon their own jurisdiction of what life should constitute? Conformity and yield to society exists because a sort of order must be applied to life. People unconsciously conform and find their identity in other people, rather than themselves. Yet, paradoxically, identity does not exist outside of subjective thought. Individuals try to distinguish themselves from the norm by creating the false idea of identity. If the identity that is perceived and branded upon an individual is not coherent within a society, that identity essentially does exist, because by definition, identity is what makes an entity definable. Thus the only true aspect that exists is within subjective identity of self. Thus only through self realization, the individual frees himself from the chains of society and breaks from the assembly line of conformity.
On the other hand...
[to be continued...]
movies
what if life was a movie...
recently watched movies:
Charlie Bartlett
Trainspotting
Momento
Scarface
Good Will Hunting
to watch:
Blue Velvet
American Beauty
A Beautiful Mind
Righteous Kill
LA Confidential
The Silence of the Lambs
Gangs of New York
Casino
Being John Malkovich
American Splendor
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Requiem for a Dream
This is England
Rear Window
The Graduate
The 400 Blows
Punch-Drunk Love
Bottle Rocket
2001: A Space Odyssey
Dr. Strangelove
other favorite movies:
The Departed
Fight Club
Usual Suspects
Gattaca
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Green Street Hooligans
Reservoir Dogs
Memento
Pulp Fiction
The Godfather
Anything with either Edward Norton (minus Hulk) and Kevin Spacey
말죽거리잔혹사
달콤한인생
가문의영광
친절한 금자씨
내 머리 속의 지우개
direction
Do I have any direction in life, or am I just led to my path by other people who want to see me become an image of their success? Life is short, and as cliche as it may sound, you only live once. Once I'm out of high school, I going to set into motion my plan. I'll make destiny kneel before me.As stupid as all this sounds, I really don't care past high school. If things don't work out, I couldn't give a fuck, cause I don't know what a fuck is to give it. To find meaning in life, the first step is to take the leap of faith yourself, instead of being pushed off the cliff by your peers. And I'm glad that the people I know can relate or understand. Because, if I succeed in what I'm doing, nobody can say shit about my decisions. It's only if I fail in what I do. And how convenient that people consider the latter to weigh so much heavier than the former. Just a backup plan is all I need, a backup plan that I can spend half my life creating because of the fear and expectation of my failure.
After all, what is failure? Don't success and failure reside in everyone's own subjective viewpoint? It's not right for anyone to have the arrogance to associate their own vision of success with another's. Before I truly live life postmortem, I'll find the difference that separates me from the dictionary.
life -noun: the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
*cred to em for the line
excerpt
It was raining. The rain was surreal.In life, everything, all the minor details in life that are so easily looked over, the imperfections that contradict the very nature of perfection itself, breathe with meaning and purpose. Only a couple hours ago, I had been blissful; only until I realized that I was a mark of nonexistence, a mere scratch on the marble slate of essence did I actually breathed the air of actuality.
Who am I? I am in an eternal state of morning, living life as it came to me, like a leaf brought down by the graces of nature to silt down through the wet, sublime, sovereign air, only to modestly sulk and travel alongside the sidewalk into a gutter, left to coexist with all the other rotten filth of society. Somewhat like a fallen angel, I thought. After all, even a falling leaf was obligated to represent meaning and order.
fresh
I had a pretty good day today.Kinda funny how I never talk about my life on this blog, but only my thoughts.
Anyways, I just chilled with friends and realized how lucky I was to have friends like them.
Because, what constitutes a good life?
Without friends and family, money and status is worthless.
Friends make school bearable, and brings out understanding in life.
High school and college are really the only times where you can find true friends, friends that will stick with you till the bitter end, friends that will choose death before dishonor, and friends that you can die for without regret. I had some good conversations. I like the fact that I have people in my life that will back me up
I love the rain.
------------------------------------------------------
the idea of identity:
what comprises identity?
I notice that I treat people (mostly girls) differently, as if I'm a different person to each person. I don't think anyone can admit that they don't do that. My personality usually just forms around how they act or how I perceive them, a pretty strange effect. However, I treat my close friends the same.
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