Current Status

Current Status

Usually with the people I don't know too well, it goes like this:
I want to hang out with them.
I don't like them, so I don't want to hang out with them.
They don't like me.
It's usually a mix of the three.

I feel like I don't like people in general. I could pinpoint some reasons why, but they don't make sense. Petty instances seem so overrated and distasteful. I feel like when I'm with people that I don't know too well, I fabricate hollow phrases to pass the awkward silence. It bothers me that I can't just enjoy the moment and let go of my superiority complex or antisocial behavior for just one bit. I try, but it frustrates me. I'm probably blowing the entire thing out of proportion anyhow.

My gosh, I have an utter distaste for the human race as a whole. Some of us are awfully pathetic creatures. We think that we make ourselves something, something of a meaningful existence, but in the end, we will come to realize that everything that we strive for is just a blank stare in the wind. A striking reality will glare back from the distance, and everything that we have yet to see will overwhelm us, engulfing everyone is a swamp of regrets and I should have's. We concern ourselves on what nothing matters, and wander aloof from the very roots of our foundation. Critically flawed humanity. Shrivels in disgust. Sometimes, I am fond of my isolation from the norm of what happens around me. All I need are my closest friends, family, and God. I can be whatever the rest whats me to be. I'm awfully tired, I don't know why. Will I ever be compensated for the dreary mishaps of my awfully melancholy thoughts?

I will read and write something later on tonight.