the gap

the gap

More and more as time passes, the fine subtleties and earnest feelings dissolve. The acute responses to emotions become sharper, more distinct and colorless. The depth and clarity of loneliness only give way to milder sensations of dabbled doubt.

I suppose as people get older, they begin to realize the blind depth of emotions. Emotions too heavy to bear turn helplessly into agressive responses for something more shallow.

There's something to be valued in the sweet depression, the pangs of loneliness and helpless longing. As I get older, it sometimes passes me by how easy it is to find secondhand cures to these.. emotions. And how shallow those responses are. Sometimes I forget to embrace the subtleties that should be left alone.

It retains the purity of human to human interactions. A childhood crush to a porno. Each one seems to fill that blotch of loneliness, just one is a more subtle and pure than the other. Sometimes the distance between the two and everything in between seem to blur and all I see is a colorless blotch willing to be filled in, in any measure necessary. Anything to fill the gap. It's so loud and blaring.