drunk by myself

drunk by myself

More and more, I constantly wonder what will become of this talentless bastard in the steady stream of life that is to come. Yeah, it scares me, but fear doesn't govern ambition for me like it should. I suppose I'm faulted in the way I can see reality, but can't come to even terms with it. There's a dreary feeling that's always casting a shadow on me that tells me that I'll be life's dressing room for the rest of my life. I try to fight that daunting thought, but for some reason, my instincts tell me that's wrong to.

So what to do in this ellusive situation?

Make a commitment. Do I wanna make a commitment to contentment? Or do I wanna make a commitment to music, and cast it all aside. And when I say all, I mean all. I think that's the only way to single handedly pursue grave emotions. Through single minded pursuits.

Yes it hurts me. Much like drinking, smoking, and other addictions, it hurts. But I love it. My life is empty without it. Music, my dearly beloved, you will be the end of me. You will kill me, and yet I'll love every moment of it, because I will forget everything else.

200 fuckin dreary ass emotionally drawn out single minded cathartic posts.


ps. my head feels fuckin heavy