The World is Yours

The World is Yours

More and more, I feel myself getting closer to the threshold of that person I'm supposed to be. In the past six years or so, I've deviated much from who I used to be, and for good reason. Although doing so may lower the value of the current state of being I am in, I find it much more suitable for who I am as a whole.

Although a person's personality is comprised of many parts, one is almost never judged by the individual parts, but the rather upon the shadow that the many cogs cast down. For example, one is not only judged upon his or her stupidity, or cleverness, but the value of his or her character is placed by the appropriate balance he or she maintain, which each trait in mind. Most people don't take this into consideration, but only because most other people's personalities are not a carefully crafted mixture of different traits, but a natural set.

Often times, I feel that I lack this "natural set" of traits, and find myself more and more artificially creating traits according to the people around me and my emotions, but mostly the people around me. But while doing so, sometimes I feel the most "me" part of me coming out. Although it is not definite, as one can never be definite, I wish to define these traits to be a part of me, so that I do not need other people to bring them out.

By the stated set of definitions of personality, then it should follow that I am most "me" when I am alone. Then then then who am I when I am alone? Let's follow through what I do when I am alone and bring out the appropriate meaning:
never get out of bed: I am a fucking lazy person.
daydream: I am a daydreaming person
rap and krump and shit: iono...
work out: I wanna feel good
but mostly daydream, I suppose

What do I daydream about? Well, I think about what I will do if and when I have mountains of money. What to do in the future. I face the fears I have about things that await me. I think about the inherit risks of things I do. I think about the things I want to do. I think about the people around me, the people that matter. I imagine what it would be like if one of my friends died. I imagine what it would be like if I died. I imagine what I would do if I had a different set of skill sets. I imagine what I would be if I was poor, if I was black, if I was white, if I was an orphan, if I grew up in east la. I think about how to carry out the perfect crime. I think about fighting people. I create imaginary situations in which I am forced to uphold values of loyalty and principle and consider the consequences of those actions. I imagine dying. I imagine meeting stars. I imagine failing at everything I wish to do and working in Macdonalds or as a assistant consultant at a low end firm.

And then I stop myself.

I would rather do, and then face the consequences later. enough of the imagination or daydreams. NIKE

yolo

but fuck.. why dont i?

I would like my natural set of personality traits to help me "do" rather than just imagine.