Onto the text

Onto the text

Love, hate, indifference.
Meekness, pride, false humility.
Self-improvement, balance, limitations.
Strength, weakness, indulgence.
More and more, I feel as if everything that I ever think about or ever have thought about is connected by a fine thread of acknowledgment and continuity.

There are so many things to talk about... What to talk about.. or write about.. I think one of the reasons why I use a blog is because I don't think many people will listen to what I have to say because sometimes it's useless, others irrelevant; and I have to get these thoughts off my chest. It's become more of a narcissistic thing, where I have to hear myself talk about the things I want to talk about, and not have any space of my thought bothered by other thoughts. Self-absorption? Maybe. It's unhealthy.

I suppose I think about the aspects of me which are not the best, and I try to change them, but more often then not its more than a will I need. Some parts of me are simply engrained into my personality, or burned into my emotions.

There are just some things that I just want to get into text for the sake of putting into text, and I want to hurry up and get it out so that I can focus on writing something beautiful.

that said, next.

Basis of human want or need is attention, attention found in terms of love, it's antithesis being indifference, lack of love leads to hate; hate is a weaker emotion because it is easier to indulge in and is about taking attention away from others to bring to yourself, whereas love is the act of giving attention. Thus those with strength are empowered to love, hate is for the mentally weak. Jealousy.

that said, next.

I'm not trying not to be prideful because some part of me stil says that I am better (that in itself indicates a false sense of pride) and I need something stronger like God to help me rid myself entirely of pride, because what I really am searching for is meekness. I can't do it alone because its sketched into the marrow of my bones.

next.

I wish I would spend the proper attention and time to actually write about those things said above... It's so rash and messy... I don't like it, but then again, I don't want to write about those things more. Too time consuming. Time to write something beautiful.

next.