things i want:

things i want:

sometimes i think really long and thoughtfully about why people are sad

or why i get sad, or annoyed, or stressed

i try really hard to find reasons

because there are reasons for everything, right?

but sometimes i just cant find reasons, no matter where i look

i can blame it on other stuff, but i know its not it

i try so hard to be happy but i feel so down.

i want to be happy so badly, at least for the sake of other people

i think, its so easy, just be happy! you should be happy after all, look at your circumstances, just let go!

and im right, but why?

so what do i do?

i kinda want to cry... but my pride wont let me. it wont even let myself acknowledge it.

can someone lend me a shoulder. but even that doesnt work, because my pride hides my emotions so well.

i feel. bittersweet.

when i look upon this later, ill be like, wow what is he doing, why is he posting a blog about it, how silly, what a emo kid, what a depressed child. even when reading this right now

and probably other people will think that too

but i dont care. for the fuck the world gave about a persons feelings, i dont give a fuck

you know what i really want?

i want to be happy

there are things that make me happy like

fulfillment love care someonewhoisthere appreciation thought

its a very special day. its me and my girlfriends two month anniversary.