just

just

what kind of a person are you when everyone has one face turned away from you

kinda painful when you feel like that

when you want to know what people think or when other people has problems

they dont talk to you and you are just outside emotions

nowadays i just feel more and more neglected and broken

so sometimes just being annoying or bitterly harsh is a defense mechanism

i can create a false feeling of superficial happiness

and theres always a tugging feeling that somethings not right and that i dont belong

sometimes i get this feeling i should just disappear when thats all i am

i hear this retarded shit. but i see just normal people.

just. dont.

honestly im happy for a while

and then i think about all this shit

and then i just go down a hole

when i get sad it really takes me a long time to recover.

at that point its basically too late and i cant take what other people say because it all feels like sympathy lies

how can people lie so easily?

i think about the way people act towards me

and i think about what kind of person i would act that way to

i guess i dont know myself that well and ive become someone i never wanted to be

but if thats who i am then thats just who i am

now i realize why i dont feel happiness these days