행복합니다

행복합니다

Even with the little freedom I have to do what I want when I'm older or choose how I want to live, I can't even do the little things in high school which make life bearable.

My parents give me shit as if something is supposed to be wrong with me and that it's not normal that I don't even do anything wrong, that I don't hang out with bad people, that I don't drink, that I don't smoke weed. Is it really expected that I fall under the same category of all the other people that live life that way? Hell, I don't even blame them; with all the crap that we have to take everyday, it's completely reasonable.

I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life working in an office or studying, I'm gonna do what i want because thats the free will God gave me, it's my life I gotta live, the life that God granted me. If I fail, I fail only under my veil of my perseverance and my judgement.

Half of everyones life is under the jurisdiction of their parents and what they say. Every parent wants a successful child that can carry on their legacy, carry on their family pride, carry on their ideal of success. The concept of family shouldn't have to carry on the selfish control it comes with it. See, the only reason I go to school is for my parents and that its just expected. I'm not gonna talk about school though. I just try as a token of thanks for the life I live, but going to Stanford, or some other high class college isn't gonna make me happy. Is it even gonna bring any lasting happiness to my family? So much emphasis on what I gotta become that I lose grip on my own desires and dreams. I already died half my life, I might as well live the rest.

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The choke-hold of love decays my conscience, degrading the individual in me to fall in line with the thoughts of the generation that raised me. It seems like life is too short to live for oneself, too long to live for God, and just right when its time to die. Life is God given affliction of man full of anguish and agony juxtaposed to eternity. In the face of eternal beauty and paradise, life is a shithole, with the greatest goal to take other people out of the shithole before they fall into a worse shithole that they can't get out of. Life and death carry with them the same essence of adolescence, the same fall of innocence to the rise of wisdom and knowledge, the rise of the individual over the manacles of what held us before. Beauty in life only exists because of its subjective nature.