reflection

reflection

People say it goes on, right? But there's something about my life that I don't like. For all the shit i go through, nothing ever seems to happen. Am I just waiting? waiting for way too long...

In some sense, it's my own fault that my life is just passing by me. Time waits for no one. But neither does everyday competition. Neither do my feelings, and neither does anyone else.

I'm so glad its raining today, there's nothing that calms me down more than rain.

Why would someone live if they can't let themselves free? Isn't that the essence of life? The very aspect of our lives that tips the balance of everything we do?

Some things should have just never been. I always thought hope was beautiful, but its not. Hope eats at a man's soul. When that hope has been broken, its like a breathe of fresh air, tainted by bittersweet memories longing to be forgotten.

It would have never stood a chance against time, so its no wonder.

Life is no movie. Its just an overdrawn, dreary existence. The actual pity comes at the part that every single part of my life is dictated by what I do or think. Why do I live like this? Afterall, in the end, all I will be left with are memories. I'll be a little collection of memories, mortal and feeble, if I continue to live like this.

I didn't want to face the pain I guess, but its been long overdue. Its not even that bad. No, its more that I was so unfulfilled, and I thought that maybe if I waited a bit longer, that I would be free. But no, that hope is long gone dead.

Yeah, life goes on. This chapter of my life comes to end. Maybe one day, when I choose to reflect upon these times, I will open up this chapter and read it, but nothing more really. I learned at least, broadened my perspective.

I'm sorry I'm so bitter, there's nothing I can really do. I can try, but its not like the word try means anything anyways. What the fuck did I do wrong?

I'm breathless. I can't believe shit will only get worse... Isn't it amazing?
What if I will never find it? What then? Too much escalation of commitment
I was too naive. Thinking that people change. Thinking that love conquers all. But thats a fallacy. Childish thoughts. Hate? Who knows... Probably..

I'm watching 내 머리 속에 지우개. sad movies ease sad days. escape amidst the stress.

Once again, amidst everyone I love, I find myself in a self proclaimed isolation. Alone
So unfulfilled. Why did I miss out? What did I do wrong?
Never motherfuckin' again. For some reason I knew you would never come, or that nothing would even happen... Just waiting..

These memories break my heart. The inevitable nature of it all. Broken promises and dreams.

Man, it hurts. All I wanted was a lousy letter or a call.

잘지내.

7m2w





























Love (understood as the desire of good for another) is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another's soul.

Why do I feel so broken? These mixed feelings... heartbreak and hate?